Behind the Lens
A NEED FOR SPEED
I’ve always loved cars, but that love has not translated into much knowledge about them. Sure, I can change a tire (in theory), and I’ve acquired all my license ranks in Gran Turismo across five generations of PlayStation but I’m no grease monkey. I’d like to be though!
RESOLUTE
My inability to maintain deep focus began around sophomore year of college. That tracks with the rise of social media but I’m not yet humble enough to admit that Jack Dorsey killed my mind. The dopamine rush that comes from an endless scroll is a lot like the kind I’d experience chasing thoughts. Drifting from one exciting fabrication to the next, replaying confrontations in my memory palace and crafting solutions to catastrophes yet to occur felt exciting and productive…
THE INVISIBLE CAMERA
In the last eight years I've acquired six film cameras, half of which are medium format, two are 35mm (both point and shoots), and the other a Polaroid. When I purchased my first film camera, a Pentax 6x7, I was emerging from a failed freelance photo stint. My inability to convert my craft into a paying trade blunted my love for it and dulled my creative mind.
DIGITAL PTSD
Life feels like one long carnival game and we’re all claws scratching around stuffed animals trapped in glass boxes that we can’t grab. We can rub our fingers against the exterior but we can’t grip anything, we’re unstable.
Fear & loathing in palm springs
I hate New Year's Eve. Few holidays of the year incite such anxiety and paralysis in me, which is absurd considering there are multiple holidays centered around gift giving and romance, a truly diabolical pairing that is explosive when handled wrong
ENTER 2023
heart’s desire
We must all discover how we create and learn best. If you're a kid from the projects like me you'll have less time to explore than those surrounding you. Don't waste what little time you have battling inherited expectations. Don't do what I did. Explore you. And when you find out what feeds you, chase it furiously because this may be your only shot.