hello, again
Dreams
Most of my waking hours are spent dreaming... of people, places, ideas, and solutions. I don’t think of myself as especially intelligent—I know a lot about a minuscule amount of the world—but I do fancy myself a thinker(?). Problem is, I’ve got no place to share all these thoughts! Heresy! In a world full of gasbags and social media platforms, how could I have possibly run out of places to run my mouth? Well, maybe I’m fibbing. It’s not that there are no places for me to ruminate on things, I’m just particular about where I do my yapping, the form, presentation, and audience for it. “Who all gon’ be there for my thoughts?”
Mark Zuckerberg’s Internet
So here I am in the year 2022 on Mark Zuckerberg’s internet launching a new portfolio site, complete with a blog! You see, I told you I wasn’t very smart.
Foolish as this may be, this decision wasn’t trivial for me, I’ve agonized over this redesign for many months. Should I stay with Format or shift to Squarespace? The latter has been bombarding me with ads via every podcast in my library for the better part of a decade—I’m dying to know the cost of blanketing the podcast airwaves. What about Shopify for the prints? Does Shopify have blog functionality? Do I even want a blog? Then there’s the LOOK of the site. What works live here, how much of it lives here, etc. A soul-crushing exercise for this Libra boy whose soul was already on the brink due to the pressures of existing online.
“As the internet expanded, control of it coalesced into the hands of algorithm huffers who believe code is sentient and people are cattle. ”
The big three are content to torpedo your joy in their quest for endless growth. What this results in is tremendous homogenization. Everyone is playing into a handful of niches and recycling the same material ad nausea. Existing authentically on the internet is frightening, and more often than not, not lucrative. I don’t mean lucrative exclusively in the financial sense either. Even if you’re not chasing dollars like the rest of the world (welcome to the club, weirdo!) you still yearn for social currency. You wouldn’t be here if it were immaterial to you. But if you don’t slot yourself into a niche, into a pattern of expected behavior, you won’t get the advertised dopamine hit of seeing the numbers go up. No one will “like” you. I’ve been trained to expect rewards for my online behavior and often times the things that are the most me receive the least kudos. Sincerity is not easily monetized and virality doesn’t exist like it used to. I’m no good at dancing like no one’s watching, so I’m venturing to where no one is.
Divorced from the rat race
This is easier to do now that I’ve divorced myself from the rat race, a victory that came with age. This site exists to give me a place to share & explore me, authentically. It will be simple, but sometimes strange and almost always personal. It will be updated with new work and glimpses of projects in progress. It will feature artist spotlights, because I know so many incredible ones, and links to happenings I think are worthwhile. It will eventually house a print shop for the five people who have been asking me for my work over the years. And who knows what else! I’m excited to have a place that’s all my own again.
Chat again soon!