Behind the Lens
A NEED FOR SPEED
I’ve always loved cars, but that love has not translated into much knowledge about them. Sure, I can change a tire (in theory), and I’ve acquired all my license ranks in Gran Turismo across five generations of PlayStation but I’m no grease monkey. I’d like to be though!
RESOLUTE
My inability to maintain deep focus began around sophomore year of college. That tracks with the rise of social media but I’m not yet humble enough to admit that Jack Dorsey killed my mind. The dopamine rush that comes from an endless scroll is a lot like the kind I’d experience chasing thoughts. Drifting from one exciting fabrication to the next, replaying confrontations in my memory palace and crafting solutions to catastrophes yet to occur felt exciting and productive…
THE INVISIBLE CAMERA
In the last eight years I've acquired six film cameras, half of which are medium format, two are 35mm (both point and shoots), and the other a Polaroid. When I purchased my first film camera, a Pentax 6x7, I was emerging from a failed freelance photo stint. My inability to convert my craft into a paying trade blunted my love for it and dulled my creative mind.
DIGITAL PTSD
Life feels like one long carnival game and we’re all claws scratching around stuffed animals trapped in glass boxes that we can’t grab. We can rub our fingers against the exterior but we can’t grip anything, we’re unstable.
Fear & loathing in palm springs
I hate New Year's Eve. Few holidays of the year incite such anxiety and paralysis in me, which is absurd considering there are multiple holidays centered around gift giving and romance, a truly diabolical pairing that is explosive when handled wrong
ENTER 2023
“TOMORROW”
The gust I feel when our hands swish by one another is a chill not rivaled the harshest Chicago winters
I hate how distant you are from me, don’t you know it’s cuffing season?
MAKING DIGITAL MEMORIES
My current area of obsession is image processing, more specifically, creating images that feel like dreams or memories. I found that translating the awe and wonderment of a scene I had experienced was slightly challenging with my current setup. There was a little something missing that wasn't tied to composition or exposure. The images looked right, but didn't feel right.
heart’s desire
We must all discover how we create and learn best. If you're a kid from the projects like me you'll have less time to explore than those surrounding you. Don't waste what little time you have battling inherited expectations. Don't do what I did. Explore you. And when you find out what feeds you, chase it furiously because this may be your only shot.
A note about the upcoming print launch
This soft launch will consist of six images: "The Pit," "Purple Heart," "Tangie," "Here, Always," "Soft Serve I," and "First Dusk," with 100% of the proceeds going to ARC-Southeast.
hello, again
Existing authentically on the internet is frightening, and more often than not, not lucrative. I don’t mean lucrative exclusively in the financial sense either. Even if you’re not chasing dollars like the rest of the world (welcome to the club, weirdo!) you still yearn for social currency.